The CD is out!

Hello there peeps. In case you didn't know, I am the spokescat for a truly amazing alliance, The Fayetville Ska Alliance. Here's my original post, (Original Post).
  Their new CD is out! I have to admit, it's incredibly awesome. Catchy, creative, and a new twist on the old holiday tunes. And no, I was not payed to say that. It's all true.
  This is high praise coming from a Cat. We have impeccable taste in music, and, as a Cat, I approve of this CD, even recommend it. That enough should be a fantastic incentive to go and buy it.If you're still not convinced, (and I'm very confuzzled as to why)  it's for a good cause, 100 percent of CD sales will be donated directly to Spay Arkansas, which operates the NWA Spay and Neuter Clinic. Which benefits animals, which is a fantastic thing, and if you don't like animals, I don't like you.
    If you're still not convinced, take a look at this-

 That's right peeps, Number 1. So, that's a fantastic reason in itself.

Even if you don't celebrate Christmas,this CD makes a fantastic present for someone who does.
     If you still don't want to buy it, fine. But you're missing out.
You can buy it here- Amazon, CD Baby, iTunes,  and Google Play.
 What are you waiting for? Go get it!
-Clark the Musical Cat

Faux Cats

Hello Peeps. I was just chilling on my social media accounts, (which you should go follow me on. Go. Follow my awesomeness. Now.) and I began to notice that most "Cats" on the Internet, are actually people! I, of course, being an actual Cat, know that they're not Cats because of the way they talk. For example, in one of these "faux Cat" accounts, the phrase "I tolerate you" becomes- "I WuVVVVVVVVV U!!!!!!111!!!"
  Which, no self-respecting Cat would type like. And all Cats have self respect, because we're very aware of our amazingness. We're also very intelligent. Even the less intelligent Cats of the Internet know how to type correctly. It's insulting really, to be portrayed in such a demeaning and undignified manner. And do you humans really think we call you "Mommy"? Because I've noticed a growing trend of Cats typing things like- "I wuvvvvv my mommy so much she gives me fishhhhh".
   Some human servants can be so dim! While I am aware of you servants loving us, (It's not like I blame you, we're pretty awesome) we do not EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER call you "Mommy" or "Daddy" or any of those little names you believe we do.
     How would you like to have your whole species spread across the Internet, portrayed as imbeciles, writing with horrible grammar? Imagine it for a moment.
   Now do you know the horror? The ridicule? Do you understand how horribly insulting it is?
So stop. 
You hear me, stop.
Or else.
-Clark the Cat 
   

Chuck Norris of Cats

I got in a fight. Yeah, that's right, I got in a fight. I don't know why you're suprised, I am Clark after all. I'm like the Chuck Norris of Cats. 
 And we started to fight, I of course, beat the living crap out of him, cause  I am Clark after all, then I saunterd home to tell my humans of my victory. You would think that they would congratulate me for being so awesome, but they didn't! Instead they fawned over me and got all worried and acted stupid.
   It wasn't even that big of a scratch, just a little one on my nose, but I wanted to show it off and be all tough and macho all the same.
Stupid humans.
-Clark the Chuck Norris of Cats

It's the human's fault

I know how I said that I would be back to blogging more, but it's a little hard when the stupid computer is crashing all the time. Yes, my computer broke.
*cue gasp*
   It's been pretty bad. I couldn't post adorable pictures of me, tweet snarky Cat phrases, update any statuses on my facebook, etc. So I've just been sitting at home. Bored. My computer seems to be working again, though I blame my humans for using it. IT'S MINE! Do I have to go into this again? Everything is MINE! Everything.
  The humans have seemed to fixed up the computer a little, and I can finally get back to blogging.
So yrros for this late post. It won't happen again. Hopefully.
 
    I actually do have some interesting stuff happening now though. While the internet was broken,  I got back into the wild (read: The neighbor's yard). And I found some pretty interesting stuff.
  Like, that humans plant these nice little flowers in little mounds that are really fun to dig up and pee in. I also found out that if you find a backyard with a d-o-g in it, you can sit on the fence and taunt them. They will ALWAYS bark up at you. It's hilarious.
  So....that's what I did while my internet was being stupid.
-Clark the intelligent Cat
 

I HAVE RETURNED

Yes, the title reads true. I have returned to blog more! I'm sure you all missed me and my adorableness, but I have returned and will not leave it so long again.
Yrros about that. If you're new to my blog, "yrros" is sorry backwards, because sorry is very painful to say for a Cat. So whenever I say "yrros", it just means sorry. AAA! I said it.
  Anyways, nothing new has been happening in the world of me. Does anybody else think that the humans are getting stupider? Mine have hung up little decorations for some weird holiday called "Halloween" where servants everywhere force their amazing animals to wear ridiculous costumes. Of course, if you're a d-o-g, it's quite amusing.
 If you want some regular daily updates of my majestic life, just drop me a tweet on twitter, I have a link of to the side.
 So that's about it in the amazing world of ME.
-Clark the majestic Cat

 

Worst.Picture.Ever.

I'm not even sure why I'm sharing this with you. It's pretty bad. I mean, wow. I don't even know. There are no words to describe the terror that is that photo.
  I-
I-
I just-

 
 



I know. It's horrendous.
The only reason I'm sharing this with you is because I know that my humans would find it and post it to ICanHazCHeezeburger, with some stupid little caption like-

"I WUUUUUUVVVVVV CATNIP."
Or something like that, because that's what humans spend their spare time doing.
So I thought that I should show it to you before you found at the hard way.
 Don't laugh at me.
-Clark the Undignified Cat

Grounded. (Again)

My human's drive me crazy. Seriously, they won't let me go outside at night anymore!!! For the stupidest reason too, (Original Human stupidity here). Go ahead and read it. I'll wait.

Are you done? Good. So now you can obviously see the stupidity that they displayed once, after a while though, they loosened up and let me outside again, so a few nights ago I decided it was okay to kill another bunny and leave it in her yard again.
But for mysterious reason she didn't like having a dead bunny in her yard at 1 in the morning.
So  weird, I know.
So now I have to stay inside again, but I'm gonna meow, tear up the weatherstripping, and bother my humans so much that they will give in and I will get another bunny. And the cycle goes on.

This is why Cats are superior to humans...
-Clark the Superior Cat