Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Story-time with Clark

One day, a few years back or so, I did something stupid.
I know that you're shocked, but try to let in sink it, every Cat has a moment when they act a little human.
I was just wondering about my neighborhood, hopping into people's backyards, killing small animals, etc. When I saw it in one of my neighbor's yards. (Really one of my yard's, as everything is mine)

It was really ugly.

Like even uglier than the average human.

It also smelled pretty weird.

It was strangely tiny, a little bit bigger than a fat rabbit, but not that big. I figured it was just some unintelligent, overfed rabbit that had consumed a few too many chemicals or something.

As I was sitting on the fence and watching it, it saw me, and it started yipping at me. A horrible, high-pitched noise that I can only describe as yipping. 

In hindsight- I probably should have seen that it was not just a radioactive obese rabbit, as rabbits don't yip, but I didn't see it.

It was horrid, too loud, too long, and it just wouldn't STOP. After about 5 minutes I thought that it still wouldn't shut up, so I leaped off the fence and attacked it.

It yipped louder and louder, but I didn't care. In just a minute it would stop.

But before I could do that, I would have to show my servants my strange catch. I picked it up and was trying to carry it off so I could rip open it's tiny body and feast on its flesh when a human emerged from the house connected to the yard and started screaming.

I was so startled that I dropped my radioactive, obese rabbit and jumped over the fence.

I strutted on home, putting this little event out of my mind.

I would never have given it a second thought if not for a knock on the door come a few days time.

It was the human who had screamed, with a smaller younger human, who I presumed to be her son cowering behind her.

I was half-asleep, so I wasn't quite listening, but I did count several phrase and snippets of words.

"Your cat... tried to carry off our dog... Chihuahua..."

I was quite confused for a minute, before my nimble brain pieced together everything. My radioactive obese rabbit was actually a dog. And I had almost eaten it.

Pity that I hadn't succeeded.

I was fully awake by then, and had sauntered up to the door to sit behind my servant who had answered the door and stare at the humans with the ugly dog.

They stared at me for a second before making an excuse and leaving.

The whole experience reminded me why I was awesome.

And that concludes story time.

Did you enjoy it? Of course you did, that's hardly a question.