Saturday, July 30, 2011


You'll never guess what happened. Just three days ago, my humans did it again. They got another companion animal. Not as big as the d-o-g but still it's another animal, invading my territory!!!! OK, it's more along the lines of prey instead of predator, but still! It's a gecko by the way. It sits in a cage in the middle of the table in our library. It hides most of the day, so it can be active at night, alot like a Cat. I will study this new creature carefully.
 -Clark the Cat

Thursday, July 28, 2011


It is very boring here. It's too hot outside, too boring inside, and all the prey is either underground or up in trees. My human slaves/servants (I decided that they should be both) are no help at all. I think I may just sleep today.
-Clark the-bored-out-of-his-skull Cat
P.S. It's so boring that I can't even write a P.S., because there is nothing to write about. (except how bored I am.)

Saturday, July 23, 2011

My ears!

Hello peeps, it's me Clark. My ears are hurting. (You could probably tell that from the title) I didn't into another fight or whatever, my ears are actually ringing from a horrible noise. That horrible noise is my human slave, Miss. Sara, playing her euphonium. What is a euphonium? A big instrutment that morphs music into loud sounds. I love music, I mean what kind of Cat dosn't? But Miss. Sara  plays sooooooooooooo louldly. That whenever she practices I have to go outside just to muffle it. Sigh.
See ya peeps later!
-Clark the musical cat.
P.S. If the Fatten the fishies thing on the bottom isn't coming up, Yrros!  I 've been working on it though.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Crazy human slaves!

My human slaves are INSANE! Or at least one of them is. My human slave Miss. Sara has declared today Sara day.  ?!!!!!!!!!???? I know right, I told her that she was weird, and she said "Happy Sara Day to you too Clark!" After that I went outside. My human slaves are officially crazy. I would fire Miss. Sara, but no matter how many times I tell her,  she doesn't leave! Grrrrrrrrrrr........  She also says the word grrrrrrrrrrrr alot, it's one of her favorite words along with "I love you Clark!"  She may be a total weirdo but at least she knows I'm awesome.
-Clark the cat.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Happy Cat.

This morning I was a happy Cat. I got to lay outside in a nice shady spot that doubled as a dust bath and sleep until someone came out to pet me and tell me how lovely I am. I already knew that, but it's always nice to hear.
      To bad it's all ending. Every week or so these random guys come and trim all the grass with noisy smelly machines. Grrrrrrr....  Trimming all of my delicious grass.  The only bright spot is I stayed outside while they mowed, hidden by bushes in my shady spot. Nobody can see me! MWHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!  Anyways I have to sleep more so see you peeps later.
 - Clark the happy/unhappy cat.
P.S. I am /unhappy because the mower guys are preventing sleep.
P.P.S. Why cut the grass in the first place? If it was long I could have more of it to eat and I could hunt in it, totally unseen. It'd be awesome.
P.P.P.S. I blame Miss. Sara.

Friday, July 15, 2011

And the winner is....

And the winner is....
Human slave, Jasmin and ''her'' cat Waylon said...
Ugh! My human slave, Jasmin, has been recently acting like a drunk maniac. She blames it on the sun... One day, she suddenly sat on me. then she made that absurd dog sit on me as well. >:( After that fight against me and the dog, Jasmin brought me outside. WELL, it turns out that the sun WASn'T the reason for my slave's drunkness. It was really the heat. It was unbearable!! Finally(after 2 hours) when i went inside, I ended up being drunk...!!!! So much for summer....
-the drunkard, Waylon

Congratulations!  Here's how Waylon responded:
THE ALMIGHTY WAYLON!!!!!! haha said...
My deepest apologies. My slave was the one who typed my comment(cats have no opposable thumbs) she clearly messed up!! alas, I ended up typing this(it took FOREVER) i just wanted to say that she forgot to put "the almighty Waylon". SHe put drunkard instead >>>>>>>>>>>>:(
Thanks Waylon, and about the typing thing,  you get used to it all it takes is practice LOTS of practice.
Good night peeps!
-Clark the host!
P.S. I'm a host because I hosting this.
P.P.S. Yrros about posting late, I slept through the day and after that I was hungry, then I went outside...

Last chance!

Hey peeps it's the last day of the contest so if you want to enter, enter!
-Clark the suspenful Cat
P.S. I'm suspensuful because I have you all waiting in suspense! :P

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Cat Philosophy.

Hiya peeps, adoring fans, Cats, d-o-g-s, human slaves, prey, and food. I'm bored so I'm going to post. After I eat. Or maybe I'll post first then eat. Eat then post? Food! Computer monitor! Which one? To eat or to eat later? That is the question. I guess I'll just post now. Then I'll get food.... Or I could get more food and take it out here then eat it... or I could - Aaaahhhhhh! Sigh. Cats are very philosophical. If you're a philosopher you need to house a Cat. Because nobody owns a Cat. Cats own people. That's a really good quote! Let it be known that I, Clark the Awesome Super Cat, said that! 
                                            All this typing and thinking is making me tired. So what do you think? How do like Cat philosophy? =D
I'm gonna go outside, or should I stay inside? Sigh. The burden of having such a brilliant and philosophical mind. Well, whatever I do see ya peeps later.
-Clark the wonderful
P.S. For those of you who don't know yrros is sorry spelled backward so it's less painful to say.
P.P.S. Today's the last day to enter my contest . (See A contest in my older post.)

Sunday, July 10, 2011


Hi peeps it's Clark here. Sorry I haven't posted for a while, but I haven't been feeling to good. I got into a cat fight a few nights ago and I got a few scratches. Nothing serious, just a few nicks but my human slaves are making a big deal about it. "I'm worried about Clark", "What did you get into kitty?", " Poor Clark!"! One of them gave me kitty treats though so that dimmed the annoying factor a little.  Annoying human slaves!!!!!!!  I know that your all worried about me, but I'm almost 2ft long and 13.9 lbs of lean mean kitty.
          Speaking (or typing) of annoying you'll never guess what the d-o-g  did! (For those of you who don't know we got a d-o-g shortly after Christmas. 3 words, MY WORST NIGHTMARE!) He was outside and I was inside. I was just sitting at my window supervising my human slaves as they played with the d-o-g (they're SO weird why would they want to play with him in the first place?) when the d-o-g came up to my window and wagged his tail. This d-o-g is huge so he's capable of a very loud bark. So of course, he barked. I hissed and backed away slowly. The dog didn't even feel a little hostile, he was just playing, but still, very strange!
Yawn. I am tired. I will go outside and sleep in the sun outside.
See ya peeps later!
-Clark the ferocious cat.
P.S. Ferocious is my new word, you like?

Friday, July 8, 2011

Young Sand Cat!

That is a sand cat, it lives in the United Arab Emirates. My human slaves though it was adorable. It was Bing's picture of the day yesterday. I'll admit the cat is striking. Meow.....  But still my human slaves said it was adorable! They can only call ME adorable! Not that I care, though admittedly the cat is pretty cute........
-Clark the jealous cat
(I am not jealous!)

Thursday, July 7, 2011

A contest!

Hey peeps it's Clark again! I just had a great idea! This is for all the animals out there! How many of you have some kind of goofy story about your ridiculous human slave? If you have one you want to share, post it in the comments section and if I like it I'll post it! Please make it from your point of view and about your human slave! I'll post the runner-up too. Leave your human slaves first name and yours.
-Clark the genius Cat!
P.S. Any animals can write a story, not just Cats.
P.P.S. A ll entries need to be turned in by Friday the 15th.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Happy belated 4th of July!

Hey peeps,  it's Clark here,  A couple of days ago, a few of my peeps went away for a few hours and when they came back they were complaing about horrible traffic, but beautiful "fireworks". I did not know what a "firework" was, except part of a song that Miss. Sara sang badly.  Very badly. Shiver. So awful..  Anyways, the next day all mu human slaves were telling each other " happy 4th of July!" I had no idea what a "4th of july'" was. But I found out, it's a celebration that all human slaves ccelebrate with noisy booms and colorful lights.They're celebrating something else too, but I haven't figured that out yet. But, I just figured all this out yesyerday night, and I was outside again all night (Cats love being outside at nighr) so I just got to post again today! So happy 4th of July! (noisy boom)  (pretty lights)
-Clark the Cat
P.S. I'm gonna go get food now.  ^-^
P.P.S. That's the top of a cat's head.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

A guide to making Cats happy Part 2!

Hi peeps, I'm continuing my guide because another issue came up.This time, obedience.
Human slaves, this is for you.
How many Cats need food, wanted to go outside or sit where your slave is sitting? We've all been there. Our human slaves are too busy. Finishing an "important" project on the computer, eating their dinner, or sleeping.  That all pales in comparison to how important our needs are. So I am writing an guide on what human slaves should do.
Step 1. When your Cat master meows answer it. Refill the food dish or give us the food we really need. (See Part 1.) Or let us outside. It's that simple.
    That was it. Really that was it. See how easy it was? Now try it!
- Clark the smug cat

Monday, July 4, 2011

A guide to making Cats happy! Part 1.

Hello peeps. It is Clark the amazing, wonderful, purrfect, beautiful, not spoiled and modest cat. Today my human slaves went grocery shopping. And guess what? They didn't buy me any Temptations Cat treats!!!!!! So I decided to make a guide so any human slaves will know how to shop from now on.
Step 1. Go into the "pets" (though I would prefer something else that's what it's called) aisle. Than find the treats canned, dry, or both. And put it in your cart. Than proceed to step 2.
Step 2. Following step 1 go into the dairy aisle. Find a carton of milk or cream and put it in your cart.
Step 3. After completing step 2. go in the meat or seafood aisle. Any kind of meat is OK. For seafood get fish! Lots and lots of fish. Cans are convenient. Though fish that you cook is OK as long as it's raw. (If you cook it it ruins the flavor.)
Step 4. Proceed to check out.
Step 5. Feed the Cat!
I hope this helped. All human slaves present, remember this!
Mew. I will sleep now.
-Clark the satisfied cat.
P.S. I am satisfied because justice is served.
P.P.S. Along with fish, milk and other Cat delicacies!

Saturday, July 2, 2011


Hi peeps . I'm sleepy. And bored, any suggestions on something a Cat can do besides sleep and eat?  If so help me out. Now I envy those feral cats in the  Warrior series by Erin Hunter (If you've never read them you should they're not half bad.) Miss. Sara has the whole first series and while she's at school or at camp or whatever I read them (Or I just sit on them, which counts as reading.)  the Cats get to hunt and be totally free. Sigh.....
        Though life for feral cats isn't totally good. They can get sick and live a shorter life span, people might hurt them when they find them in there yard.So I guess I  like being a cat that has a permanent home more. Well that was something to do that I just did. Thank you for giving me something to do. Now I am no longer bored. I am tired. I am going to go outside and sleep now. Meow.
-Clark the lazy cat. ^-^ (That's the top of a cat's head.)
P.S. If  you go to the bottom of the page you'll see a new feature I hope you like it! To feed them just click.

Friday, July 1, 2011


Hello peeps, insignificant human slaves, Cats, and other animals. I am in a good mood. =D I even rubbed up against Miss. Sara (I was actually trying to get her to move so I could get more food. )Now she's sitting next to me as I type telling me how awesome I am. My morning is looking really good.
      To make it better I had an idea, for those of you who can't comment if you look below the post comment button there's a 'comment as' button. Instead of commenting with your account, do the name/URL you don't have to have a URL either. This is much easier! :)
Must sleep now I was outside all night
-Clark the happy cat.