Monday, August 27, 2012


We all have our bad days, yes? And some bad days are badder than others, some are just mildly bad and some are right-out awful. I believe today was one of the right-out awful days.
   You see, I woke up this afternoon, and expected to see my canned Meow Mix. Instead, I saw my regular food. I'm not saying it's bad, but after all that Meow Mix..... it's hard to go back.
  So then I was all traumatized and had to sleep for a few more hours. I know, it's very tough.
    When I was feeling a little better, I went outside and meowed at the door for a solid 2 minutes. 2 minutes. That's too darn long!!! My humans should be at my beck and call, ready to jump up at the click of my claws. But they weren't. So I went over to the computer to blog about all the unfairness of this whole situation when I saw an article that one of my humans had stupidly left open. I nearly screamed.
It was about the dangers of letting your Cat outside. And why

Yes, you read that right. I was shocked. Just shocked. But it gets worse, as I read farther into that horrifying article, it said that if you want to let your Cat outside, you should put them on a leash or a harness! What?!!! Would you humans like to only be outside if you were on a leash or a harness? I think not.
    So I went over to the door and pawed at it and looked cute until one on of my humans gave in.
 Then I walked over to my spot, the one with the grass and the little plastic black thingy that you can roll over. It's a very good back scratcher. I just sat there and rolled around on the nice soft grass, when suddenly- my little back scratcher popped up, made a little whoosh noise and sprayed water everywhere! Everywhere! Even on me!!!!!! Me!!!! So now I was wet. Wet. That's just unacceptable. Then of course, I saw those yappy little d-o-gs from across the street, and they started LAUGHING at me. That's right. LAUGHING!!  (Yes, d-o-gs can laugh, but it's a very unpleasant choking sound. Even they can tell that it sounds stupid.) I maintained my dignity all the way to my door until one of the watery things sprayed water over me again. I can only take so much.
Overall, not a very good day in the life of Clark
-Clark the shamed Cat

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